Sunday night, i went to this soul/r&b night at Hard Rock Cafe, called Groove. It was smooth, it was nice enough. I liked that time i went to Paesano's better. The band was doing cover's of Jill Scott almost all night, which was cool enough, but they never played my song Show Me. You know, the one i like cus i can answer "Yes" to all the questions in it, as well as it just having the grooviest bass line. (Bringing back "groovy"!!)
Sidenote: If you don't know who Dwele is you need to recognize. He's the smoothest crooner to come out in while. In fact, there are a whole bunch of folks people are sleeping on. But it is not for me to awaken you. Not yet at least. Dwele - Poppa Yo get up on that.
As for the rest of the night, there was an open mic, i got up and sang, well, the only song that came to mind... Carl Thomas - I Wish. Carl Thomas is the truth, if you don't know check him out, Carl Thomas - My Valentine and Carl Thomas - Lady Lay Your Body. At first i thought the crowd wasn't feeling me, the young unknown up on the microphone. But actually they started clapping and singing along. Steven (the greatest actor yet to win an Oscar or Tony) was with me, he was blown away. He told me 'Not that he had any, but seeing me up there erased whatever lingering doubts there might have been for me pursuing music.' Today, steven (and whoever else was there); 2005, the world.

Today, Steven (the great actor) and I went through the mall, spreading the word on Pilot Radio and their performance and such. So basically i'm handing out flyers in the mall. Looking good i must say. It just seemed kinda odd to actually, be on the otherside of the person who gives you that flyer that you really don't care about but might check out. So, i will forever be nice to people who have to do that, and at least take the flyer, even if i am going to throw it away. It really does make you feel better. As well, i felt kinda weird basically stereotyping. I am handing out flyers to a rock show, in the number one (#1) city for black people to live. So here i am, giving them out to the assumed demographic, then just watching as the black folks wonder "How come i don't get one?" Ironically as i am a black man handing them out. :-)

Sleepy. Batman.
Peace.

Haha, I love being black. So i'm chillin' here and it starts lightening/thundering very severly and my first instinct is to turn off EVERYTHING plugged in. Thank you grandma. I wonder if other cultures do this too. Ok, i just saw lightening hit not too far away, so i'm going to go now. Yes, i admit, i'm a lil scurred. I dang sure ain't going outside, that's why i'm not a thief (scroll down to attempt to understand.) Be messed up if the power went out before i finished this. As short as it is. OOOOOOKay the lightening is very close, so i'm gone chunk the duece, y'all. (I'll add on to this later, maybe.)
One more thing, it seems the lightening has been very ominous today, as if telling me what i should and should not do. I wanted to go to the car and write, EVERYTHING cleared up. I started questioning my mom and her faith (slightly, just making sure she is thinking outside the box) and then a storm came. I started working on music and everything cleared up. I started trying to forget some things and ignore them and now some lightening and thunder. Wait, k, that lil bit was somebody's car stereo. Oh wait, ok, there's the lightening and thunder. So... I'm just gone let all of this marinate while i think about who i'm not supposed to be thinking about and analyzing mess or just working on music, whatever the storm tells me. Dee deedee.

Peace and Sunshine.

Haha, so i was looking through some pictures i was taking of Houston,TX to show to all my non-Texan friends. What made me bust out laughing was this picture of my boy Uchenna taken inside my place, and the window (with the shades down) is like FLOURECENT white. "Dang, you can see the heat!!!" was the first thing that went through my head. And that's right, today i opened my car door and saw the shadow of heat vapor escaping. The sun don't play down here. It ain't no punk, forreal!! I don't care who you are, you can be soy sauce black, but you still gone catch a couple shades.

If i were a car thief and i had to steal a car in broad daylight, then I'd choose to do steal it in a thunderstorm. Everybody is already inside worried about the storm and such. Car alarms go off all the time during them cus of the vibrations from the thunder, so if i mess up and set the alarm of no biggie. As well, probably less cops out for the same reason there would be less people out to see me steal it. As well, all that heavy rain aids in hindering someone's visibility anyway. Lastly, the rain and thunder hide any sounds i might make like, breaking a window and such. Now, i'm not going to do research cus i'm content with the car i have. As well, i'm lazy, and don't want to get wet for no reason. But it is an interesting mental picture.

Peace.

(Before first night at work)

Alright, so i got a job. Happy me. Working with SolarFlare Records just doing promotions and such. Passing out sampler discs for now, and maybe getting to learn the behind the scenes of the music business, which is good enough for me. I have no delusions. ... Mwa haha haha. Today SolarFlare Records. Tomorrow, the world. (.... Day after tomorrow to be safe. Ugh, corny as i wanna be!)


(After )

Yeah, so tonight was the first night of work. It was good. I handed out more than half of my box of cd's and i guess i wasn't supposed to, but then i reasoned with my boss that the people can give it to their friends. So... then i did a good thing.
Yep.... sleep.
Peace.

(Half sleepy rambling)

Ok, what really tripped me out. Christina Aguilera has this song, talking about "Thanks for making me... " I swore when i was first hearing it that she was saying "Thanks for making me whiter." What amuses me is that i didn't even question the misheard word. Instead I accepted as how she felt, and thought she just got bold.

Darn you Celine Dion, can't a brother forget the pain. Dang. Ole love happy-self.

"Houston, we have NO problem! Long ago this dynamic temperament transformed what used to be just another swamp into the nation's fourth-largest city, world energy center, and nucleus of outer-space exploration. Just in case you didn't know, the first words spoken from the famous moon broadcast were: "Houston, Tranquility Base here. The Eagle has landed," so you can probably guess that there's no such thing as a humble Texan! Just as fittingly, there's nothing humble about Houston Hard Rock Cafe. A 35-foot guitar steeple lights your way to Hard Rock Houston in the glittery theater district, right next to Minute Maid Baseball field. The Astros, Rockets, Aeros, Comets and Texans all call Houston home, plus tons of Cajun, zydeco, blues and country music fans that wouldn't live anywhere else on earth. In fact, wild spirit is this space city's hallmark! Come see for yourself why Houston rocks, and ditch your problems in Houston! We'll launch you into a whole new dimension."
(Courtesy of the HardRockCafe-Houston)

Alright.
So i was out driving today, running a few errands at first then just going around for my enjoyment. Well, I wound up at the police memorial a few miles away from downtown. All i saw were two empty cop cars in the lot along with my cars, so i'm like, "Cool. A nice scenic place to chill. " Well, a short while of me being outside, this young female officer comes up to me. I'd say she was a Filipina. (sp?) Anyway, so at first i just thought she was seeing what i was up to, but then she started smiling all big and asking me all these questions about who i am basically. Like i was kinda puzzled why she was staying so long. Basically i was too slow to realize she was hitting on me, cus i'm thinking "Yeah, she's young, but she's a cop." I mean, eventually I passed a couple questions back, but mostly i was thinking, "Please don't arrest me for something i don't know about." So yeah.

Later i came home and found out i was overcharged by $95.00 for a drink. So... i had to go right back out again. Fellas, if you want to be arrested by some cute women, come down to H-town. As well, look at ur reciept when u purchase something. No matter how small it is. Two decimal places is a big difference.

Today's lesson is fear.
Ladies and Gents you cannot let yourself be controlled by fear. I know a lovely young lady. Who let fear run her love life. You kind of always knew what she was going to do by what she was afraid of. I sensed it from the start, and am just now pinpointing it. I would try to convince her that there was nothing to fear, just tell him. There is nothing to fear just take this chance or that chance. The whole time i was ok with her acting by what she was afraid of..... until she was afraid to be with me. (Some of you might have guessed that i was leading to that, i applaud you.) Now i have lost someone i loved. As well i've lost control of how i feel towards them. I feel bad for her too, cus unless she really resolves some things she might always be too afraid to love because it might go wrong. Rather than just enjoying the good time there could be. So, i'm hurt. ::Sigh:: Love and Fear suck.

Peace and Love.

I'm on DSL now, so i get to feed my internet addiction. Some people can't live without their cell phone, i get addicted to internet easy, what-are-you-gonna-do?
I admit that after spending the night out and everything. I was really hoping to come home to an email. Or maybe a text message. Or even (though i'm not a phone person) a phone call. No dice. ::Sigh:: It's this feeling where you give up and give in to accepting what don't want to accept as the possible truth. Even though it's all speculation, i'm in the dark and i have nothing else to tide me over this period. I'd like to go back to the last good time and go with that. However i feel that i'm more optimistic than i should be. More precisely i feel she might be more pessimistic than beneficial to us. Rather i should say that's what i'm afraid of. We'll see how things turn out. Either way i wish her the best. Maybe she deserves better than me. Alas, let's not think of such things. C'est la vie, mon amie.
In other news, tonight Pahi took me to his friends house. Well, while we were saving seats to see Hulk the friend and i got to talking, and it turns out the friend's father owns/runs a band management business. I promptly told the friend of my passion for music and he says he will talk to his father and see what he can do. I pray everything works in my favor. I put my life in the Lord's hands now. Love life, career, and spirit all within Him now. I've been falling off. Like right now i feel like me. It's been a while since i've felt like me. Not since...Rhode Island. Even before that since early November. Yes, there is a big period of drama that i just want to skip and never recall again. I'm moving forward.

Hey,

Alright, so everything was lovely with my lady, but then i had to come back home and she lives far away. So she said she was going to take time and really think about all the drama that's surrounded our coming together. Well, i blew up. Yep, so unlike me, but i got really upset. Like it's so not like me, usually i'd just be like "Ok..." or something, but she is different, and i am really into her. As well, we've been through alot of stuff, and that's left me really scarred. I just wrote this long letter putting myself in her shoes trying to understand her. It helped a whole lot. Problem is, up until then i really kept tripping sometimes justifiably other times not... just cus i couldn't let it go. Problem is i can tell it's really worked her last nerve. As well, she's in the middle of this time to be alone with her thoughts and reason everything out. It's kinda weird it's like time travel, EVERYTHING has some effect. Eh, i'm kinda too worried about this all. She see the worry but doesn't understand why i'm so worried, which is basically because i really really care for her. I've never felt like that. Geez, i'm overthinking mess again hope i don't screw things up. Yeah, i'm going to start focusing on other mess, cus i'm a lil too intouch with myself.


Peace and Blessings

Life, thou art a confounded trip.

Ok, well i'm well into summer now. It seems the more i try to learn the stronger my brain's rebellion. It's like "Down with the intellegence oppression!" Ok wow, Jewel sold out. Yet, she's ok with that. So am I actually, cus she put it well enough. And the spoof/serious video is at least entertaining. Back to me..... wait... Beyonce's video. Gotsta rep for Houston, TX. Ok, damn, that's a fine woman. Except at that one part where she's still fine, but just darn scary. She's trying to hard, but she's fine enough to do that. Like my girl, she doesn't even have to try, she's that fine. When she does try... i have to eventually pick my jaw up. Back to me, my blog. Only child, i get to be selfish without conscious here. ---Unfortunately my net died and i don't remember what i originally typed after that, cus i just let it fly off the dome. So i'm sleepy so i will end this here. Go watch One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. I have a sneaking supsicion it's about ti die again. Peace Humans.---

Now that I'm at home for the summer with all this time. I do ALOT of nothing. Take breaks frequently. Yet, i must say... i like it. I know i'm supposed to blog about something, but as this is summer, i'm remaining a complete blank. It's Father's day, so we (Mom and I) called her father, affectionately dubbed PawPaw. Grandparents are the coolest, they are filled with all kinds of info. I know i've said this before but it's so true. I found out some cool stuff about my great great grandfather Smith Rollison. TX and MS holdin' it down. Um... i'm going to stop for now. Just so you know though. I thought of something i wanted to blog the other day while i was playing pool, but i forgot it. Sorry.

Sidenote: Go see Finding Nemo.

June 11, 2003

I don't like plane rides. I was coming back from Boston/RI using the little airline i use i ride and i realize that i still don't like flying. However i do like my mind, cus it blocks things out very efficiently. See, i don't remember the flight too much, cus my mind said "Eeek, i'm gonna sleep." So i don't remember the take off that seemed like we weren't really going to make it to the air (well, not the first one at least). In fact, i don't remember the first flight much at all. Every now and then i would wake up and i'd be like, oh, still in the air, and not pretzels and soda yet (they replaced peanuts with pretzels a long while ago). The second flight though, i almost did the same thing, but not exactly the same way. So i remember the take off where it seemed like we weren't making it up into the air right. As well, that there seemed an irregular amount of shaking for a take off. At least the plane didn't do one of those SHARP turns right away, i hate those, cus it's like "HEY, can we at least get in the air before you start doing these moves? High up enough that we can't see people? High up enough that if you mess up, you have enough air to try and get yo' mess straightened out?" I think i would been more ok with it if i didn't notice how unnaturally flexible the wind tried to make the plane. Let's just say that there should be that much torque between the nose and the wings. As well, i don't car how flexible fiber glass, sheets of metal, and plastic seem to be, i'd prefer it if my airplane wasn't their flexibility testing facility. Sadly, the very next day, a plane crashed at an airport in Houston (that's all i know).
Yes, I have returned to the Lone Star State. Back in Houston i am. I love my city. I want to go driving all around it for no reason today. See what's changed. See what hasn't. I like getting out of the house. Not that i don't like being inside, but as an only child i'm far too used to being inside with nothing to do, but watch TV. The plane ride back was so stereotypical. On the plane coming from Boston to ATL, the people weren't too genial, but just all blank-faced. However on the plane going to Houston, everyone was all friendly. People helped others with their bags, folks were cordial. When we got into town and into traffic i saw a merging where every car let 1 car in before it, and the thing just flowed so smoothly. As opposed to up north where everyone tries to go and just hope those who need to get in get in after them, and other people just forcibly go and hope noone hits them. Yep, whole different mentality towards people.
Oh, we bought some new electronics AND we stopped at Jack In The Box. So i was euphoric, cus got to play with the new TV and DVD and then eat a Bacon Ultimate Cheeseburger. And i called my girl. Watched "The Pianist", and then had a good nights rest. Ah, relaxation. Aight then, y'all come back now, hear?.

Eh, it's so rare that i get to use the internet nowadays. I almost don't know what to do now that i'm on it, without any school work to do. Like really, what do you use the internet for. I kinda feel like looking up the news, but i don't really. None of the people i constantly talk to are online right now, so i'm kinda curious as what to do with this tool. Hmph, the internet. I can feel the television just telling my brain, don't think. No no, just sit there, take in these temporary thoughts. I have some books that i try to read, but then my attention is like, "Eh, screw this, i want some entertainment." I kinda feel like bothering somebody but just about everyone i know is asleep. And the only thought i am left with is this now harded blister that i have from playing video games too much. It feels interesting because it is basically dead and so i don't feel everything as well as i would were the finger flesh alive or full of working nerves rather. What else am i thinking about? The answer, what next year is going to be like. Yep, that's what i do alot, i try and predict every possiblity of life. Well, the ones with a high chance of occurance. Not that random mess, like a dog getting loose or randomly coming to live in your yard. You know what, I should go. Yep, i am tired of doing something, i am going to lay here in bed and attempt to do nothing. Nothing but think. Think about my relationship, think about my future, think about my family. Jeez, i never wrote to my brother. Ok, that's that i'm going to do soon. Write to my brother in prison. Alright y'all, peace.

Alright, in my loungin' (i admit) I have become addicted to this simple computer game titled Pipe Dreams contrary to the split-second imagination of many of you, the game has nothing to do with drugs. Basically you play the role of plumber or waterway technician responsible for laying the pipe before the water reaches... well, where you are laying the pipe. Well, my lady is actually quite good at the game, but not better than I. However the score board doesn't show this, cus it says she's the best with a score of 702900. So i guess i've been dedicating rediculous amounts of time to destroying that score, cus i know i can do better. Problem is, i am too ambitious and often try to do to much habitually, and thus the water reaches me in the midst of laying some elaborated two tier pipe way which crosses over itself at least 15 times on the regular. (We get more points for crossing.) Sadly, tonight, I FINALLY was waylaying her measily 702900, with a pimped out 747000, and of all times, HER COMUTER FROZE. HOURS wasted playing this game. I don't know if it's in me to even try that again. I am sad to say but i am just gone have to leave her atop the Pipe Platform.